That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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