God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
