Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
