Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
