U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
