I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
