i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
