About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
