Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
