you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
