She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
