Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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