dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
