So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize