You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
