the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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