Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
