Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
