i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
