i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
