Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
