I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The power of my boobs compel you
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
