i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
