Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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