I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
