There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
