Can Purell be used as lube?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
a search helicopter?!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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