I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
