some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
