I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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