While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
