Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

SEEEEXXX PLEASE

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(516): View more from New York

My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.

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(905): View more from Toronto

I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..

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(765): View more from Indiana

After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.

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(+79): View more from

Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight

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(951): View more from California

The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.

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(845): View more from New York

man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...

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