some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
