My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
