Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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