Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
4 words: hood of his car
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
