Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
we're so committed to being not committed
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
