Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
