Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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