i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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