4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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