so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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