apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
