We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
