Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
