So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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