Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize