i was born a porn star she said
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
