Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
