she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
