A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
