someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
