We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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