So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
