They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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