pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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