A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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