My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
