I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
