We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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