Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize