i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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