BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize