do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
