Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We had sex on a dog bed..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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