Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
