Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
