My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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